Nais kong mawala ka sa aming landas

Ikaw na nagsisilbing salot sa karimlam

Anay na nagpaparupok sa magandang pundasyon

Ahas na nagsasabog ng kamandag

Nais kong hubarin ang iyong maskara

Nais kong mabunyag ang nabubulok mong anyo

Tunay na kasing baho ng isang estero

Na hindi kayang itago ng mamahaling pabango

Nais kong itarak ang punyal ng aking bangis

Nais kong dumaloy ang maitim mong dugo

Upang maidilig sa iyong mga kampon

Nang tuluyan na rin silang maglaho

Isa kang salot, halimaw!

Nararapat lamang na ika'y matupok

Sa apoy na galing sa nilikha mong ningas

Isang patibong na kikitil sa iyong buhay

endemion

I only slept for 3 hours, I woke up as early as 2:30am today. I am preparing for a midterm exam in my advanced statistics class for my Doctoral studies in UP Diliman scheduled today(february 18).So far this is my last academic subject and hope to write my dissertation after I passed my comprehensive exam this summer.But the big question is..."Will I get through it?"

This semester is a hell to me! I only got 1 subject in my PhD to finish and I was even deloaded for my teaching loads in the University where i am teaching yet I find it so hard to cope with my studies and my job. I have lots of backlogs and I don't have any idea on how I can overcome it.

For these past weeks, my mind is bothered with my coming midterm exam.Im have been quite quixotic because until now I can't understand the topics that i need to study for my exam.Bakit ba naman kasi ng magsabog and Diyos ng talino sa mathematics ay wala man lang akong nakuha ni kahit konti!

Here I am, I have been up for several hours now trying to read, comprehend and dissect the topics that seems so greek to me....time is running fast...I only got several hours more to go before the moment of truth!

I have to pass this exam...

I have to pass this exam...

I have to pass this exam....whaaaaah!!!

I wish _______________________.

I wish _______________________

 I wish _______________________

I wish________________________

I wish________________________

I wish________________________

May all of them come true in due time.......

Yo soy triste ahora mi ángel de la guarda. Deseo que usted está aquí con mí para facilitar el dolor que me estoy sintiendo. Para confortarme con mis miedos y mantenerme fuerte los tiempos que deseo dar para arriba. Usted ha sido siempre mi esperanza en el medio de la oscuridad. Cómo deseé para oír su voz el decir me de palabras del estímulo. Cómo deseo usted está aquí limpiar lejos mis rasgones y abrazarme y hacerme la sensación que no estoy solo. Mi ángel querido, nunca sé el verdadero porqué el dios me le envió.  Yo también no tengo ninguna idea de cualquier papel usted desempeñará en mi vida ahora. Todo lo que sé es yo es cada vez que feliz puedo hablar con usted. Me plazco tener sus memorias presente mi que me recuerda que hay alguien hacia fuera allí de otra parte del mundo que cuida para mí...

endemion

The world spins too fast that I can no longer go with it...I now violates Einstein's Law of relativity.

My mind's momentum is now in chaos with my physical inertia...

The more i conserve my energy the more I am led to entropy!

I dig from compound to simple machines to multiply my forces yet I kept encountering the rusty and malfunctioning ones

I tend to fight the friction that decreases my efficiency...yet i am dragged down to a static situation.

My buoyancy skill is in battle with my flotation priciple...no matter how I displace my own weight...the more I continuously sink

I'm at the edge of my equilibrium with two opposing forces that leads me in turmoil

The action - reaction forces is now having its pay back!

Finally, the rate of my change in velocity leads to the deceleration of my sanity...

I now boiled down into one reliable conclusion...im burned out!

Out of my clumsiness, i accidentally slipped and fell in our bathroom while i was taking a bath last week. Good thing it was not a serious fall. I did not have any fractured bone or heavy bruises on my skin. What i'm suffering right now is muscle soreness in my buttocks. So everynight i would take time to apply hot compress on it. I hate doing this because it is eating my time. But i have to coz it is necessary.

If I could only turn back the time...i wont let this happen. I don't like being injured...my daily activities are affected by it. I have to take a rest from dancing, going to the gym, wearing high-heeled shoes etc...not to mention, its painful.

endemion

Here I am staring blankly infront of the monitor...my mind is blocked...i just can't come up with good ideas. I'm rushing things again and i hate it! My TMAs in my PhD have passed the deadline for its submission, good thing my professor is too nice that she doesn't give point deductions to those TMAs which are submitted late.

It's really hard to be working and studying at the same time. I just can't find enough time to do my workloads since I am also bombarded with lots of paper works and teaching assignments. If only I can have a better option, I don't want things to be like this...but what can I do, the institution that i am connected with is pushing me to finish my graduate studies and I'm also tied up to a certain scholarship..so i have to maintain good grades....I hate all these craps!!!!

Well. this explains the reason why I was missing for quite sometime in Tabulas...